Week Two

Well here we are: week two.

That is correct folks I have now posted two weeks in a row. Not bad I say. This was a fairly eventful week. Well, let me qualify that statement. It was a fairly eventful week from a two-year-old’s perspective. Weds was playgroup and lunch at the local community park. (yes, it was outside, and yes it was 73 degrees on Weds, and yes I mean this past Weds NOV. 10^th which having just moved from Logan Utah were it is about 40 degrees this time of year seems simply crazy to me.) All of Claire’s friends were there, plus a whole bunch of other people. We got there at about 10:30am and that is when the fun began.

Let me paint you this picture. We arrived and are parked on the opposite side of the road from the park (that is where most of the parking is). It is a fairly secluded road that doesn’t get any traffic other than people coming to the park and has a posted speed of 3mph and is so covered with speed bumps that it would be impossible to go more than 5 or 6mph even if you wanted to. So, as far as roads go, it is as safe a road as you are going to find and most folks just sort of let their kids run across it to get to the playground. However, as we all know, I am not most folks and there is no way I am going to let Claire just run across the street – even if it was Sesame Street. Because it isn’t all about the safety it is also about the principal of the thing. So, back to the story. I get Claire out of the car say “Claire wait right by the car while I get the cooler out.” So, naturally she starts to run out into the road. However, this isn’t my first rodeo; I anticipated this and quickly grabbed her arm before she got away. Repeat my first instructions about waiting by the car, and then make a quick grab for the cooler, knowing that Claire will not most likely wait for very long I take at most 30sec. Well folks. Just in case you were wondering 30secs is all a two year old needs to dash across a road. And of course there happens to be a car coming when she runs across the street.

Luckily, the car wasn’t even close to hitting her, it was still probably about 30yards away moving at no more than 3mph. Unluckily, however, it was being driven by a crazy old, somewhat saggy, lunatic woman who obviously was quite jaded because no sooner had she parked her car than she jumped out and being shouting at me. By this time, however, I had caught Claire, given her a stern talking to, placed her in the car and told her she wasn’t getting out for at least five minutes (FYI: five minutes to a two year old trying to go to a playground with her friends on it is the equivalent of about 50 years solitary confinement for an adult, at least from the way they react you would think so).

So, crazy lady jumps out of her car and starts yelling: “Are you that girl’s father?” she barks. “No” I reply, “I’m just some weird wacko that hangs out at the local playground and grabs random two year olds and puts them in my Jeep for timeout because it gives me a thrill.”

She retorts in her jaded shrill voice: “Seriously, Sir, I work for the state and you can’t let your child run rampant like that. What is your name? I am going to report you for child neglect and have you investigated.”

Glancing at Claire, who let me tell you, is just running rampant all over inside our Jeep. I reply, “Will Smith.”

She, guaffs, snorts, and then replies: “This is a serious matter, Sir, I work for the State…

“You mentioned that” I interject.

“Yes, well this is a serious matter, Yadda, Gagga, Bladda, whoodaa…nonsense nonsense nonsense”

I stopped listening after she mentioned “serious matter” again. Claire’s five minutes were up and it was time to go play. There is no room for serious matters on park day.

Ok. So I didn’t actually say all the stuff I quoted myself as saying. I only thought those things in my head as she was ranting at me. In fact, I didn’t actually say anything. Not one word. She said everything I quoted her as saying. But I didn’t even acknowledge her presence. She was like a gnat trying to perturb a Tyrannosaurus Rex; a miniscule annoyance not worth the effort to acknowledge.

And so we walked away to the playground and enjoyed the rest of the day as she rambled in the background.

Thursday. Took Claire to what I thought would be a drop off and play at her friend’s house. Somehow that was miscommunicated. Ended up staying at the house with Claire, Claire’s friend, her friend's little brother and their mom. This is awkward. Nothing else to say about that experience other than I felt somewhat awkward but Claire had a blast.

Friday. We went to the Maple Valley Dairy Farm with a bunch of other people from the ward. (I say people but it is really all the moms and their kids and me and Claire). Claire had a blast and got to milk a cow. We went on a hay ride, got to see some baby cows, and petted a llama, horse, goat and donkey. Learned about the homogenization process and saw the milking machines. Then ate some Ice cream from the dairy it was good.

I would pontificate more about Thursday and Fridays events but I have already become quite long winded in this post and so will post a few pics from the Dairy visit and call it good.

Claire milking the cow

Claire looking at the llama